Therapy for Cultural Guilt and Shame
For Brown girls who feel like they’re constantly doing something wrong.
Cultural guilt and shame are not yours to carry
Your cultural identity is not an unpaid debt or a jail sentence for being Brown or South Asian, but for some reason, it feels that way.
Chronic guilt and shame strongly correlate with anxiety and can worsen depression. Rigid cultural expectations for women can worsen these conditions. Why does your cultural identity, the part you love so much, hurt you?
What is cultural guilt and shame?
Guilt is the feeling of remorse or regret after doing something wrong. Cultural guilt is the guilt that results from strong cultural rules, norms, and expectations. This might look like, “I’m doing something bad”, or “I’m not doing enough”.
Shame is the feeling that comes with associating your identity with your mistakes. Cultural shame is the shame that comes with cultural guilt. This might look like, “I’m a bad person”, or “I’m not enough”.
Guilt and shame are learned through rules, roles, and expectations of what not to be. But if your cultural identity is formed by what you’re not allowed to do, then who are you?
Who I am
Hey there! I’m Tracy and I’m the “Bad Indian” Therapist.
I’m a licensed therapist who helps Brown women in New York, New Jersey, and California let go of cultural guilt and shame through evidence-based and culturally affirming therapy (without the guilt-trip)!
Rules, roles, and expectations might have taught you to betray yourself for the “culture”. I’m here to show you that it doesn’t have to be that way.
What I offer
As the “Bad” Indian Therapist who dared to dream differently, I offer another perspective. I combine cultural understanding with evidence-based approaches to therapy, such as CBT and EMDR to help you see that the things you desire aren’t necessarily wrong; you’ve just been told they are.
My approach to cultural guilt and shame:
Here’s my general process:
Narrate your story: Here, we get a good, no-holds-back, nonjudgemental understanding of your life and perspective
Identify the toxic scripts: Then, we highlight and challenge harmful beliefs and values you internalized from family, friends, and your cultural community.
Gently confront, not avoid: This is where we do things differently, and learn the tools and skills to approach the things we desire, but have been taught to be afraid of.
What makes me different
You might have had one of the following experiences:
This is your first time trying therapy
You met with a nice white therapist who didn’t get it
You met with a Brown therapist who made you feel guilty or ashamed for not fitting their cultural expectations.
Culturally competent therapy doesn’t mean I uphold toxic cultural norms that make you feel even worse.
I offer a safe and brave space for you to question the things you’ve been told.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions about how I approach cultural guilt and shame.
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Therapy can help you decrease the intensity of guilt and shame, and make the best decisions for you regardless of what cultural guilt or shame say. No therapy can make you “get rid” of an emotion, but rather, it can help you understand where they come from, and challenge the negative things they tell you about yourself.
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Therapy is a highly individualized process. I combine approaches based on your unique challenges. I’m certified in CBT and EMDR, and have training in ACT and other types of therapy. I’m not here to make you fit an approach that doesn’t work for you. I get the approach to fit you.
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Therapy can help you get better and ultimately feel better in the long-term. During the process of therapy, you may feel “worse” before you eventually feel better. Kind of like personal training at the gym, your mental health muscles may feel sore before they get stronger. Like anything, therapy takes time, consistency, and effort to work.
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If this is your first time going to therapy, the process can initially feel intimidating, and a culturally competent therapist will understand that. While it can feel shameful to air your “dirty laundry”, that doesn’t actually mean therapy is shameful. You’ve just been taught to think of it that way.
You’re not a problem to be fixed.
Therapy can help you let go of what isn’t your burden to carry. Book a call to learn more.