For many of us who were raised in immigrant communities, “rest” wasn’t a word that was acknowledged. Growing up, my parents told me that doing well in school was “average” or the “bare minimum”, and that I should strive to do more than what was expected of me. On the weekends, I was expected to not just study, but to also help out around the house, work a part-time job, and spending time with friends was looked down upon. From a young age, many of us are taught to excel — to be the “good girl” who studies hard, makes our parents proud, cares for others, and doesn’t make mistakes. Many South Asian women are quietly burning out in silence. It’s OK to admit that you’re exhausted. 

If you grew up in a South Asian household, you probably learned early on that strength meant staying quiet. Maybe you were taught to push through discomfort, focus on gratitude, and not “make things a big deal.” Therapy, for many of us, wasn’t even part of the conversation—it felt unnecessary, indulgent, or maybe even shameful. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t about being “broken.” And it’s definitely not about someone else swooping in to “fix” you. I’m not here to save you from yourself. YOU are the expert of your own life; I”m just a guide.

Choosing the right clinical supervision group can feel daunting. For many South Asian therapists, the search often comes with layers of hesitation—Will my clients be understood? Will I be understood?

I designed my clinical supervision groups with these questions at the heart of the process. Because the truth is, supervision isn’t just about clinical skill-building—it’s about identity, confidence, and connection.

Choosing the right kind of therapy can feel overwhelming—especially when you’ve grown up balancing two worlds. You might find yourself explaining the weight of family expectations, the quiet sense of duty, or the guilt that follows when you set boundaries—and still feel unseen. This is therapy that meets you where you are.

If you find yourself caught between wanting to honor your family and needing to protect your peace, you are not alone. Protecting your holiday mental health is not selfish—it’s a necessary step toward healing, balance, and authenticity.

Inside are five South Asian mental health tips to help you navigate the holidays with more ease and intention–from a licensed therapist who’s been there!

Setting boundaries can feel like a challenge, but it’s a crucial step toward healthier, more respectful relationships. Learn why boundaries aren’t selfish and discover practical ways to protect your emotional well-being without causing resentment. This post provides a guide on how to set boundaries with family, friends, and partners to ensure you can show up in your relationships with clarity, confidence, and peace.

Ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment? It can be a confusing and painful experience, leaving you feeling isolated and unsure of what you did wrong. The truth is, this behavior is often less about you and more about the other person's emotions. In this post, we'll explore the reasons behind the silent treatment, from unspoken anger to a need for control, and how you can respond in a healthy, grounded way.

Drawing from my own experience with my parents, I'll share how their two weeks of silence after I announced my move to New York taught me a powerful lesson about staying true to myself. This is a must-read if you're looking to break free from guilt and stand confidently in your own decisions, especially within family relationships.

Perfectionism anxiety is the anxiety that comes with having high standards for yourself, and it often involves the chase of unrealistic standards of being “good”, “successful”, or “on top of things”. It can be very subjective depending on what your idea of “perfect” is, and depending on different areas in your life, such as your career, education, body image, nutrition, family relationships, dating, money, etc. For many people who come from collectivist cultures with rigid moral hierarchies, “good” often means “perfect”. For many Indian people, there is an emphasis on being “good”, and that anything short of good can be “bad”.

Many South Asian moms expect their daughters to take advantage of the economic and educational opportunities that America has to offer, but to continue to observe socially conservative values about marriage and motherhood. They expect us to put up with what they put up with, plus do more. But it’s next to impossible to be #1 in both career and motherhood. Nevermind that dating is a full-time job on top of a full-time job. We’re supposed to “adjust” and make it work. But no one else is asked to adjust and make things easier for us.

As a South Asian therapist who works with trauma, I’ve had many clients bring up their disappointment in how their families responded to Konanki’s case. It can be hard to find safe people to open up to about these things. This further reinforces the shame and secrecy around trauma and traumatic events, and can lead to suffering in silence and shame. Let’s open up a discussion about the silence, secrecy, and shame that surrounds traumatic events in our communities. 

Are you dating a person or a resumé? Do dates feel like job interviews? We have been conditioned to look for a resumé, a checklist, of surface-level traits that actually say nothing about the individual person’s character. When love and physical affection isn’t allowed or talked about, you don’t know how to love, you don’t know how to feel, and you don’t know how to develop a deeper connection. Where does what you want end, and what other people want for you begin?

Currently, there’s a lot of discourse around the Westernization of therapy. Many therapists and therapy-seekers believe that therapy is too Western because it did not work for them. Does therapy, particularly in the Western sense, work for Indian and South Asian people?

It’s about time that Indian Americans start having conversations about our socially and politically conservative values. At the same time, I know that many of us exist in insular communities, and are not entirely aware of where we stand in the racial hierarchy of America. I understand that this can be extremely disheartening, frustrating, and intense for many Indian Americans who are new to learning about racism. This is not meant to shame you, but perhaps this can be a learning opportunity for all of us to heal together, and build coalitions across communities. So where did this start, and how did this come to be? 

People say that setting boundaries isn't selfish; it's self-care. But I’d also argue that it’s precisely out of your care for others that you also have boundaries. When you don’t recognize and honor your limits, you’re going to hurt your relationships. So you owe it to yourself and to the people around you to have boundaries up.

Have you ever found yourself feeling a bit off when your single or childfree friends share their lives with you? Maybe you've caught yourself asking questions like, "When are you going to settle down?" or "Don't you want kids?"

It's easy to fall into the trap of projecting your own desires or societal expectations onto your loved ones. And don’t get me wrong—getting married and having children can be beautiful. But assuming your friends should also do that too when they’re already having a hard time can be extremely judgemental. Let’s be real: sometimes, the best way to support someone is to simply leave them alone. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not helping. In fact, you’re out of touch! Dating and relationships are just different now.

If you’re like me, you’re also an eldest daughter. We've all heard the stereotypes: the perfect, people-pleasing ones. But is there really any truth to these claims? While birth order can certainly influence our personalities and experiences, it's not the sole determinant of our mental health. There's a complex interplay of factors that contribute to the unique challenges faced by eldest daughters. I believe that “Eldest Daughter” is a lazy, surface-level take that doesn’t adequately address brahmanical patriarchy, the model minority myth, and fetishization, all of which influence Eldest Daughter Syndrome for South Asian women.

As an Indian American, I've definitely felt the pressure to fit the mold. You know, the whole "model minority" thing? It's like we're supposed to be perfect students, successful professionals, and always happy and well-adjusted. But let's be real, that's not everyone's experience.

Let's talk about boundaries and assertiveness. You might think they're the same thing, but they're actually two distinct skills that work together to improve your relationships and overall well-being.

Assertiveness is about building confidence and standing up for yourself. It's about communicating your needs and desires clearly and effectively. Assertiveness can involve setting boundaries, but it can also involve other behaviors, like speaking up for yourself or saying "no." Assertiveness doesn’t always have to be communicated. It can also be about taking action for yourself, rather than seeking permission from others. 

Remember when you first started therapy?

You probably had high hopes for a quick fix, like a magical cure to all your problems. But the reality is that healing is a process, and it takes time. When you don't see immediate results, you may feel like you've failed, which can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration. You might feel ashamed of yourself. You might think that therapy wasn’t effective!

As a South Asian American woman therapist, I've noticed a troubling trend in South Asian Mental Health™ especially among those struggling with OCD or rumination. Many, especially South Asian women, find themselves trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety, often exacerbated by the pressure to conform to societal expectations. Many therapists mistakenly assume that OCD and rumination can be treated just like anxiety, especially for women of South Asian descent, in the name of “culturally competent” mental healthcare and call this “Eldest Daughter Syndrome”. Many CBT therapists believe that OCD can be treated with thought-stopping.