Why Brown People Should Try Therapy This Year

We’re at the end of the first month of 2023. On Instagram and TikTok, I see many people embracing soft living, work-life balance, and healing from within. In this really unclear post-pandemic (if we can even call it that) era, more people are embracing the benefits that come with remote work, such as flexible travel and taking breaks as needed. Many of us, like me, are OK with not going out often, and enjoying our time at home too!

I see similar conversations on Brown Instagram and Desi TikTok. There are some reels from South Asian women honoring their mental health struggles and being open about taking time to heal their inner child. These women are breaking barriers for many South Asian Americans who struggle with mental health stigma, and South Asian Americans who talk about mental health so publicly are few and far between. Despite the increase in people going to therapy and awareness of mental health in the diaspora, South Asian Americans in the US are still less likely to seek out therapy.

Shouldn’t we be having bigger conversations as a community around mental health?  Shouldn’t we be honoring it, and learning how to take things slow and hold ourselves accountable, without comparing ourselves? We are very hard-working people, especially when it comes to our careers. I feel like there’s a message to always be doing MORE—exercising MORE, working MORE, dating MORE, making MORE. 

If your goals for the new year are about working out MORE and you’re feeling burned out by the fatigue of it, then maybe therapy can help you. Here’s why: 

1.) The physical pain that’s keeping you from your workout routine may actually be due to mental health. Many Brown folks report body pains, poor sleep hygiene, and stomach issues that might actually be due to mental health issues. In fact, many South Asian women are at risk of PCOS and IBS, which can partially impact depressive and anxious symptoms. This can lead to feeling unmotivated and burnout with exercise and movement. 

2.) You feel more isolated, stressed, and at odds with your elders as you get older, and therefore may feel a little bit more defeated. Older South Asian adults tend to feel more isolated from others, more stressed about being able to fit in with the culture, and more conflicted with their parents about reaching certain life milestones, such as marriage. When we didn’t fit in with the mold, it starts to affect us more when we get older. We may start to feel hopeless and ask ourselves, “What’s the point?”, when attempting to start a new habit. 

3.) If your goal is to aim for a dry January (or February), therapy can help. If you’re having trouble with alcohol use, this can impact other parts of your life as well, such as your relationships with family, friends, and your partner. Studies show that South Asian American men are at greater risk of alcohol-related issues and are less likely to seek treatment. These issues are also linked to family conflict, violence, and legal issues. If your goal is to stop depending on alcohol to cope with problems, then you should consider therapy. 

4.) If you’re a young person born and/or raised in the U.S. you have a harder time fitting in AND fulfilling your parent’s and your culture’s expectations. Have you seen Never Have I Ever? Devi’s journey in honoring her needs while also meeting her mom’s expectations and battling the grief and loss of her father is an experience that I and many South Asian Americans who have been born and raised in the U.S. can relate to. These stressors can lead to an increased risk of suicide for young South Asian women in particular. 

There are so many more reasons why you should consider therapy this year, like if you’re someone who is afraid of rejection, failure, and self-doubt. If you’ve experienced cultural trauma, minority-related stress, colorism, and racist micro-aggressions, these are things that can affect your self-esteem and your outlook on life. 

But when it comes to new year’s resolutions, why therapy? 

Doing values-based work with a mental health professional can help you build sustainable steps toward these goals. In a study of older people who struggled with Major Depressive Disorder, clients reported that they found the support, the problem-solving process, and the focus on interpersonal relationships the most helpful in treating grief and loss, health conditions, housing, self-care, and dealing with interpersonal conflict. A therapist can help you make decisions and find solutions that feel true to you and your values. 

From my perspective as a South Asian American therapist, I find that oftentimes, a lot of the value we place on new year’s resolutions is very superficial. We’re focused on our appearance, such as losing weight, or tangible items, such as making more money or saving money. While these things are very important, it’s important to ask ourselves if these goals and how we plan to accomplish them are sustainable for us and if they are goals that will make our life easier. 

Are they with us in mind, or are we addicted to the chase of more? Do our goals reflect our deeply personal values or the values of the people watching us? The values of the community? 

In other words, do these goals feel true to us? 

This year, focus on making goals that fit the life you already have, that reflect the values that feel true to YOU, not anyone else. 

If you’re ready to try therapy this year, I’ll be accepting clients in April 2023! Schedule your free consultation now before spots fill quickly!