My Practice and Services
Therapy looks a little different if you’re Brown. I like to use a combination of insight-oriented, person-centered, and written approaches to counseling and therapy. I use both a top-down (mind to body) and bottom-up (body to mind) approach to therapy based on what works for you. Therapy is not “one-size-fits-all” and I can support you in identifying what actually helps you.
How I do Therapy:
For South Asian Misfits and “Bad” Indians with significant or intergenerational trauma, you might find that challenging your negative thoughts just doesn’t work. If you heard yourself say in therapy, “I understand that logically, but it just doesn’t feel that way”, you might be a good candidate for EMDR. EMDR engages the left and right sides of the brain to help you process negative events that have impacted your mind and body. This is great bottom-up approach if you’ve been to therapy before.
How do I know What Works for Me?
Ask Yourself These Five Questions:
“Is this my first time in therapy?” If this is your first time in therapy, I recommend trying CBT first. I take a slower, insight-oriented approach with therapy first before starting CBT techniques with you. It’s important to me that I have your trust first before we start something new.
“Do I respond well to direct feedback?” If you like being challenged and you want a therapist to give it to you straight, CBT can be effective. Sometimes I may use CBT in combination with role-plays, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, and exposure therapy to help you reach your behavioral goals, depending on what they are and what you respond well too. You’re collaboration and buy-in are important parts of this process too!
“Do I want a more gentle approach?” If you’re finding that you want a softer, more gentle approach, I recommend trying ACT. Like CBT, ACT can help you cope with negative thoughts and feelings, but is more flexible approach and less structured. You’re human and life is difficult—there’s no need for me to be a hammer always looking for a nail!
“Have I worked with a therapist of my cultural identity before?” If you’ve been to therapy before, but this is your first time working with a therapist like me, I recommend using CBT or ACT first to address cultural guilt and shame and build trust in our work together. We may have to address some of the things that your previous therapists haven’t culturally considered.
“Have I been to therapy before, used all the techniques given, and haven’t noticed a change?” If you’ve been to therapy before and really took advantage of everything it had to offer (such as journaling, homework, and mindfulness exercises), but you haven’t found it to be helpful, then EMDR might be the right fit for you. I would not recommend trying EMDR if you’re a first-time therapy seeker and if you don’t have a clinically significant trauma history. EMDR works on trauma that’s deeply rooted in the body before you can start to notice a change in how you think and feel. Part of EMDR work is readiness and preparation before we start processing trauma, and I use ACT as part of the preparatory work. I may also require that you have a strong support system, social outlets, and journaling in between sessions to support progress in EMDR.
Sometimes you might internalize certain messages about yourself from the people around you: family, friends, your cultural and religious community, and even society at large. While your friends and family mean well, they might be projecting their anxiety and resentment. You might be subconsciously taking it on yourself! CBT is a great top-down approach if you’re a cerebral, analytical person who wants to challenge your self-defeating beliefs in order to change how you act and feel about yourself in everyday life.
There are VALID reasons for why you feel the way you feel. Maybe you don’t want to change your thoughts or your feelings and that’s OK. ACT is a nonjudgemental approach that acknowledges the realities of living in a sick society. Particularly for South Asian children of immigrants, you might find this bottom-up approach helpful, with mindfulness techniques and behavioral skills that help you cope with unwanted thoughts and feelings first. Sometimes you need to feel safe in your body first before truly changing the way you think about yourself, your relationship to culture, and the world.
Interested in Finding What Works for You?
You don’t have to get your feet wet to commit. You’re allowed to shop around and test the waters first. Booking your free intro call can help you determine what works for you and make the best, educated decision for yourself.
More About Me:
Hi there! I’m Tracy…
…I am the daughter of two hardworking immigrants and I was raised in an Indian and Catholic household. One of the most difficult things I had to deal with growing up was balancing my interests and choices with those of my family and my culture. If I did what I wanted to do, I was “whitewashed”. If I didn’t, I was unmotivated, sad, down, tense, and on edge. I knew something did not quite feel right. Part of my journey meant unpacking this negative belief that all adult children of immigrants have: If I honor my needs, I am disgracing my culture.
I have survived and witnessed family members survive cultural and religious trauma. I learned that I don’t need to endure pain to prove my loyalty to my heritage. We can break the curses.
There is more to me than just my culture! Here’s some boring info: I received my Bachelor of Arts in Gender and Women's Studies at the University of Illinois at Chicago, a program that fundamentally changed my understanding of race, gender, and sexuality. After working for sexual assault advocacy centers and in residence life, I pursued my Master of Arts and Education in Psychological Counseling at Teachers College Columbia University.
Since graduating, I've worked with Black, African, Latinx, and Caribbean families in homes across Manhattan and Queens, incarcerated men at Rikers Island, and millennial women of color in Brooklyn. Up until February 2021, I was also an essential worker during the COVID-19 pandemic!
Some fun stuff: when I'm not in my virtual "office", I enjoy writing, reading, and watching Never Have I Ever, Bridgerton, The Bachelor, and Real Housewives (currently watching Potomac)! I am also a huge Beyoncé fan and listen to Renaissance. I have a dachshund named Bugaboo (yes, like the Destiny’s Child song) and he is my little therapy.