No Rest, No Best: The Benefits of Not Working All the Time, and Why It’s So Hard
I have a library. By library, I mean I have a bookcase full of picks from Book of the Month. I have about 100 books at home, and I have read countless more. Currently, I have about 20-30 books in my TBR pile, not including the nonfiction counseling psychology books I have to read for work.
Today, I took one good longing look at my shelf, sighed, and said, “I’m going to finish a book a week”.
Mind you, this was after going to McNally Jackson and purchasing three more books to add to my growing pile. Under the guise of supporting an independently-owned bookstore and writers, I made what seems like an unrealistic promise to myself.
This isn’t out of the ordinary for me. When I used to work for a non-profit, riding on the subway throughout Queens and Manhattan to give home-based therapy to families in need, I spent most of my time reading and was able to finish four books in a month. Somewhere along the way, this got a lot harder. Working at a group practice afterward eliminated most of this reading time, since I no longer had to travel throughout the city and could sit in one spot. The pandemic also eliminated reading for pleasure for me, what with working from home. I’m looking at more screens, getting Zoom fatigue, and unwinding with a reality show on TV. And I refuse to read a Kindle or an audiobook—the last thing I need is to be plugged into more technology!
Reading a good book, watching TV, painting, or even learning a language are all things that are joyful but take a tiny amount of effort, so I wonder, “Why can’t I be at peace like this when I’m focused on work? If I can do all of this in my free time, why can’t I just open my laptop and get some notes done, or read Dr. Francine Shapiro’s book?”
You know that meme along the lines of, “I can’t memorize facts for my history exam, but I can recite all the lyrics to (insert song here) from 2006”? Yeah, that’s the same idea here. Reading for pleasure and reading for work is not the same.
The difference is rest.
Rest is the reset from mental and physical effort. It helps us recharge and enjoy non-productive parts of life so that we can be productive in the future. A concept analysis from the Journal of Advanced Nursing defines rest as a break in routine for increasing physical and mental well-being. It helps us recover from the effort, and can be either passive, like taking a nap, or active, such as light exercise.
Inside my mind, there’s still that creeping negative thought, “ I already get 8 hours of sleep a night. That’s enough rest for me”, but rest and sleep are not the same. While sleep is the mental, physical, and emotional detachment from the outside world and stimuli, my resting self is still interacting and responding to the world around me in some capacity. I’m still engaged. And while a nap is a “form” of sleep, it doesn’t have the same benefits of a night’s sleep, and can actually mess up my sleep cycle, and decrease my overall productivity as a result.
But besides work, sufficient sleep, and trash reality TV (if you follow my Twitter, it’s currently #RHOBH), the thing that keeps me away from reading is the feeling of guilt. When I pick up a book, I feel the societal pressure of the word, “lazy”. I have clients that don’t have the luxury to sit and read a book—I could be getting my license to practice in California, taking my required continuing education credits, and finishing the psychology books I need to read. Not only that, someone could be having an emergency or need my help. What if someone is having a crisis? Do I deserve to take a break? Is it worth it? What am I going to forget if I take this break?
I could read that book by Dr. Shapiro, but I’m not actually resting; I’m working. Therefore, my brain is on and I’m not resetting my mind or body if I don’t take rest. According to a review of the current research by the journal Social and Personality Psychology Compass, rest minimizes stress, which is good for productivity. Eventually, I’ll get to the book at some point, but it’s to the benefit of my productivity and my ability to be available for my clients if I get both rest and sleep. The thing is, if I don’t rest, my work and my clients suffer. They’re not getting my best self.
I’m not alone in my feeling of guilt for taking a break. There are many reasons why rest is hard to implement:
We’re afraid that, by taking a break, we let our colleagues down and they’ll be resentful and jealous.
We fear we are forgetting something important.
We are worried about missing a deadline, or not being able to catch up with a never-ending to-do list.
We fear that by taking a break, we’ll get in too deep and have a harder time getting back to work.
We could lose our jobs (and this is a reality for many workers).
We have other obligations outside of work, like taking care of our kids.
For a lot of us, taking rest is a financial and economic privilege. People who have occupations that pay minimum wage or less don’t have this luxury, and often work 16+ hours a day.
We live in a culture that prioritizes hustle. Celebrities are not immune to this. Recently, K-Pop Band BTS made the difficult decision to take a hiatus and pursue individual projects due to the tremendous amount of pressure they were under. South Korea’s economy relied on them. Many fans are confused if this means that they will come back together again in the future, and the details of this hiatus are still unclear. BTS shared that they were burned out from constantly putting out hits knowing so many people rely on them, financially and emotionally.
Now that almost everyone is working from home, employers expect dedication way past the hours of 9-5, making it harder to incorporate both rest and sleep. But people are taking action. Many are looking for jobs that allow remote work from home. People feel more comfortable leaving jobs that don’t allow flexibility. There are many policies that need to be put in place to ensure that we only work 8 hours, sleep 8 hours, and rest 8 hours. But until that happens, here’s how to make it easier:
Be more intentional about making rest a priority. Set a goal to commit to a certain number of hours a week of doing something you’ve always wanted to do.
Good rest leads to good sleep. Turn off your screens one hour before bed, and do something restful before sleeping, like meditation, coloring, journaling, or playing with a pet.
Try to stay away from caffeine and exercise late in the day, and prioritize these in the morning to have a more productive day.
Avoid sugary foods and alcohol late at night.
Avoid naps in the middle of the day, even though they are a form of rest.
Make a commitment that your bed is only for sleeping. Any fun or relaxing activity is reserved for other parts of your home or outside.
If there’s any reassurance that taking a rest can improve your career, it’s Beyoncé. She recently shared with readers in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar that she was mandated by her doctors to take vocal rest for one whole summer after sustaining a vocal injury when she was 13. She was afraid that she destroyed her nodules and that her career would be over—before she became Beyoncé as we know her to be. Can you imagine what the world would have been like if she didn’t listen to the doctor’s instructions, and kept pushing herself? We wouldn’t have Destiny’s Child, we wouldn’t have Crazy in Love or Single Ladies, or the digital drop that changed the game (IYKYK). Who knows where she would have been today? She took that loss, she got her voice back and is now known as the Queen of R&B.
There are going to be a lot of perfectly valid reasons to not incorporate rest, but if you want to perform well, something has to give. Even exercise instructors say rest days are mandatory for good fitness. Kind of like with therapy, if you can’t make the commitment, you likely don’t see the need for it. There are so many things I could be doing with an hour of my time for work, but you know what?
I’m going to finish this book.
For more information on a better night’s sleep, visit sleep.org.