5 Ways to Protect Your South Asian Mental Health During the Holidays
The holidays—whether it’s Diwali, Christmas, Eid, Thanksgiving, or New Year’s—are often portrayed as times of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for many Indian and South Asian Americans, they can also stir up feelings of stress, overwhelm, guilt, and even shame. Between cultural traditions, family expectations, and the weight of balancing both South Asian and Western norms, the holiday season can feel less like rest and more like emotional labor.
If you find yourself caught between wanting to honor your family and needing to protect your peace, you are not alone. Protecting your holiday mental health is not selfish—it’s a necessary step toward healing, balance, and authenticity.
Below are five South Asian mental health tips to help you navigate the holidays with more ease and intention–from a licensed therapist who’s been there!
Tip 1: Set Realistic Expectations
It’s easy to get swept into the idea of being a “good” daughter, son, or child and creating the “perfect” holiday—perfect food, perfect family gatherings, perfect decorations, perfect interactions. After all, wouldn’t it be ideal if everything went smoothly? Who wouldn’t want that?
But sometimes when we want things to be “good”, we actually want perfectionism. Perfectionism only fuels burnout. Instead, allow yourself to release the pressure of doing everything flawlessly. Your worth is not measured by how far you are in your career, how dating or family planning is going, how many dishes you cook, how well you host, or how much you make everyone else happy.
This year, give yourself permission to focus on what truly matters to you, not what others expect. Sometimes “good enough” is more than enough.
Tip 2: Prioritize Self-Care
We come from collectivist cultures that tell us that we have to self-sacrifice to care for the people we love. With so much focus on others, it’s easy to neglect yourself. But your wellbeing deserves attention too. During busy holiday weeks, try to weave in small moments of care—whether it’s resting without guilt, staying nourished with balanced meals you love to eat (not just what you think you should eat), moving your body in ways that feel good, or carving out quiet time to recharge.
Self-care doesn’t have to be grand or time-consuming. Even ten minutes of deep breathing, a short walk, or calling a friend who gets you can help you stay grounded amidst the chaos. Remember: when you care for yourself, you show up more authentically in every relationship.
Tip 3: Maintain Healthy Boundaries
For many South Asian Americans, coping with immigrant parents can feel especially challenging during the holidays. Cultural values often emphasize obedience, sacrifice, and togetherness, which can make boundary-setting feel like betrayal. But boundaries are not walls—they are bridges with railings that allow you to love your family without losing yourself.
This might look like limiting time at gatherings, gently steering conversations away from triggering topics, or politely saying no to commitments that drain you. You can still respect your family while protecting your mental space. Phrases like, “I need to step away for a bit, but I’ll be back”, “I don’t want to discuss this right here, right now. Can we talk about this later?”, or “I’m not seeing anyone right now, but when I find my future spouse, I promise you’ll be the first one to know” are culturally respectful ways to hold limits.
Tip 4: Stay Connected (in Healthy Ways)
Connection is vital for wellbeing, but not all relationships are nourishing. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with certain people. If you notice you leave gatherings feeling drained, it’s okay to limit your exposure. You are a not a “bad” Indian, Pakistani, daughter, son, or child for wanting space to grow!
Seek out relationships that make you feel seen and supported—friends who understand your cultural background, chosen family who uplift you, or communities that honor your whole identity. Staying connected doesn’t mean staying available to everyone; it means choosing the connections that feed your soul. You’re allowed to surround yourself with people who see the best in you, and aren’t always quick to see the worst in you.
Tip 5: Seek Professional Support When Needed
If feelings of stress, guilt, or shame linger beyond the holidays, know that you don’t have to carry them alone. Culturally-competent therapy can be a powerful space to unpack cultural guilt, explore identity struggles, and learn tools for boundary-setting in a supportive and understanding environment.
Working with a culturally sensitive therapist who understands South Asian family dynamics can make all the difference. Therapy isn’t about rejecting your culture—it’s about finding ways to honor its strengths while also questioning its limitations and honoring yourself.
Protecting your South Asian mental health during the holidays is an act of self-love and resilience. If you’re ready to explore how therapy can support you in setting boundaries, easing cultural guilt, and finding peace this season, I invite you to schedule a free intro call with me below. Together, we can create space for your healing and help you move through the holidays with greater ease, confidence, and care.
Tracy Vadakumchery, LMHC, LPC, LPCC is a licensed therapist with over 8 years of experience supporting South Asian clients who are children of immigrants in Los Angeles. She specializes in cultural guilt, shame, trauma, and eating disorders and uses evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help Indian and South Asian clients live more authentic and confident lives. As “The Bad Indian Therapist”, she is committed to providing compassionate, culturally sensitive yet expert care online for clients across California.